Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
