Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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