I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
