talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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