hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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