Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize