Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
