wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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