so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you remember whose house we're in?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
