Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
