If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize