So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
