Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
