But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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