you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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