so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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