So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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