If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
