I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
