hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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