I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
