first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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