He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
