Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize