So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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