he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
