i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Its about making memories worth repressing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize