dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
