if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize