she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
