If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
