How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize