Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
