I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
