O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
