I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
