problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
