I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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