Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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