Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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