i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
