I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
