i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
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I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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