I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
