erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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