ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
