dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
