a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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