Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
