How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo