i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you