I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious