Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
