Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
