I murdered the dance floor call the cops
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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