i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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