nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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