Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
