Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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