It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore