I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I am mentally ready for anal.