left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
