Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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