I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sext me about skeletons
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize