we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
