I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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