"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
