1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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