Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
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I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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