captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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