I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
