69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
