Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
