if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
